What doesn't kill you....

We returned to the rink with the Devil tonight after a solid week off following the end of the 2009-2010 season. We are out of the pan and back into the fire of tryouts for next season. I say we returned to the rink, but it was touch and go for a while there as the Devil had a pretty good case of the of nerves that brought with it a fair display of waterworks. Last night she in no uncertain terms proclaimed "I hate tryouts. We knew she was nervous, but never expected this. She was pretty stressed out and we gave her the option of just turning around and going home. Hockey after all is supposed to be fun. Fun was quite obviously the last thing on her mind.

Tryouts are about as stressful a time as there is in minor hockey. And stressful for everyone from the kids trying out, to the anxious parents in the stands, to the coaches who have the unenviable task of dashing the hopes, dreams and expectations of a few young athletes.

Being cut from a hockey team is rejection and it sucks plain and simple. But then again, we could only hope that this is the worst thing that will ever happen to our kids. Rather, this is part of the growing experience and I'm pretty sure it prepares and strengthens kids for other rejections and disappointments they will undoubtedly have in life. Hockey again forms a microcosm of life.

I can still vividly recall the first time the Boy was cut from a team. He was 10 years old and it was a cut he didn't see coming. He sat still and quiet doing all he could to hold back tears. The look of bewilderment and disappointment in his face had me reaching down around my ankles to find my heart. But he held it together and went on to have a great hockey season on the next team he was chosen for. There have since been more tryouts through five years and more cuts. As he's gotten older, the Boy has naturally come to realize this is all just part of the game and sometimes there are factors you can control and sometime there are not. The much heralded politics of hockey is a topic for another time.

Our "situation" tonight we believe stems from one of the Devil's earlier less than and all too memorable tryout experiences. Two years ago, when she was 10 (seems like 10 wasn't the best of tryout years for either of my children) the Devil made it all the way down to the last set of cuts for a team she hoped, nay expected, to play on. In defense of the coach picking the team at the time, the Devil did not have a stellar performance and was somewhat under-sized relative to the rest of the players trying out. She was on the bubble. So it came down to the last set of cuts after the final tryout. The girls were asked to form a line and file in one by one for an interview with the coach. Logistics for the process were not good. Those who were cut would have to walk out of the interview and back past all of those waiting to be interviewed. For those who were cut, this would equivocally be a "walk of shame". I'm sure you can tell where I'm going with this.

The Devil was first up and as we entered the room for the interview I'm pretty sure her 10 year-old grip drained the blood from my hand. She sat quivering across from the coach as the verdict was read, "I'm sorry, but we don't have a spot for you on this team." I reached back down to my ankles as my heart found its way back down to that familiar place. The Devil politely said thank you. We proceeded briskly down the walk of shame feeling the stares of everyone as we passed, but not daring to make eye contact with any of them. I remember the Devil seemed to be a virtual rock at the time, but here we are two years later and the sting of that cut apparently remains just below the psychological surface.

And yet, she did manage to make her way out onto the ice with 40+ other girls, many of whom likely had a similar set of nerves welled up in the pits of their stomachs. And, possibly with some bias on my part, she performed well and did not look out of place; though perhaps still relatively undersized as she is a full year younger on a team to be comprised of two age groups. There were cuts tonight, but the Devil was not among them and perhaps this will provide some strength to bolster her for the next couple of weeks.

Did I mention that the Boy's tryouts start next week.

I'm just hoping I can keep my ticker above my waist this year and that my kids get by with their psyches somewhat in tact. Surely, all of this can't help but make them stronger.

#imahockeydad